Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
