wanna go halves on a baby?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
