Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
