Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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