can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
