just come out here and I will go home with you...
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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