That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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