If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
