the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
