Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so that wasnt chicken after all
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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