Im at strip club and am horny
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
