I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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