I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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