there was a trapeze. enough said
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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