I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
