Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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