Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
