At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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