her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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