I have demons in me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
