I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
