We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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