Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We got so high we made milksteak
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
