i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
