i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize