I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
