Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
