Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
