Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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