I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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