Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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