Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize