I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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