You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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