she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
