just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
