I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
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Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
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after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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