we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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