you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
