So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
