i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
