I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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