i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
