dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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