Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
