after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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