the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize