Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
