She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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