kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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