So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
