Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
