This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
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