I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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