Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
