Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
