wat bout pragnant strippers??
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
