Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
