Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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