omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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