She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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