Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we should paint friendship bongs
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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