Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
